You really coming over, don't trick.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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