Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
