like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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