well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
