I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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