Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
