Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
They are going to name an STD after you.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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