Capitaan dildo arrescate!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
