I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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