i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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