The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
