having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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