My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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