just come out here and I will go home with you...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The feeling are messing with the penis
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
