She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
