i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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