took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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