Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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