Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
