so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
