if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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