Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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