You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
