like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
