I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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