I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
