What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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