Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
