I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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