conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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