Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
