5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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