Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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