You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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