What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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