Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
