You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
