YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
