Do vagina's smell?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
