Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I could fuck to npr.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
