When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
