She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
