Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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