my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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