Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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