Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
