Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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