thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
