i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
