and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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