WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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